A series of heresies against the manufacturing orthodoxy has been committed in public, repeatedly, and without apparent remorse.

The accused, R. N. Murugesan of Antonym Industries, maintains that the centralised factory is a high-latency monolith running legacy code for a world that no longer exists, and that the correct response is not a bigger mainframe but a hard fork.

The Church of Lean Manufacturing has urged its congregation to remain calm. A senior figure confirmed that utilisation of 98 per cent is basically fine, actually, that unused capacity is waste, obviously, and that the ocean freight gods are merely testing us.

An emergency committee has been convened. It has commissioned a deck.

Pressed on the whereabouts of Gary, who wrote the load-bearing macro in 1997 and has not been seen since, the Church declined to comment.

Mr Murugesan could not be reached for comment. He was already typing.

Every heresy committed to date is catalogued below.